Standing still but somehow also growing
(from last night...)
This last week has been a reminder that I am growing up. An engagement, a pregnancy, and a wedding invitation. Don’t worry, none of these affect me directly. But indirectly, yes, and I feel the growing pains. Or confusions.
My cousin is pregnant. She’s also basically my life-long best friend and the closest thing I’ve ever had to a sister. We were born 16 days apart and have grown up together. We went to the same high school and worked the same job for awhile.
She called me at work Thursday morning to tell me the news. I was shocked. She was shocked herself when she heard the news. Apparenly anti-biotics counteract the effectiveness of the pill. Her boyfriend of 4?years is quite enthused so thats good. I get to be a godmother, which has been a dream of mine for awhile. I think she will be a terrific mother, and I think he will be a great father. I know he will love that child more than life itself.
I am definately weirded out. But I will do my best to be supportive. I know it will be tough. They are unmarried and she’s still a nursing student. My grandpa took the news really bad, which led to some negative drama and lots of tears. Its not like this is the first child in the family concieved out of wedlock. And I am the only grandchild that has not lived with a significant other before marriage. Clearly, my grandpa knows theres some stuff going on in some bedrooms. I am not sure why he reacted so harshly. Perhaps because my cousin in the youngest grandchild, and one of two to have never been in jail. Higher standards?
My brother called me today when I was getting ready for work. He wanted my input on his thoughts of marriage. He’s been with this wonderful girl for 8 months. He’s only been divorced from an evil one for 2 months. He wanted to know if I thought it was too early for him to start thinking about rings. I told him no. I love this girl and I want her around to stay. I told him that. And I told him sometimes you just know when you want to be with someone forever, that you can know in a few weeks, that time isn’t always a key factor. And I told him that he has my support, which he didnt have a few years ago when he told me of his plans to propose to his now-ex-wife. Heck, I tried so hard to talk him out of that one. I even called him back right after we hung up, trying again to talk him out of it. I told him he was trhrowing his life away. I cried a lot that night, as my roommates tried their best to calm me down.
I remember he IM’ed me the next morning and told me he proposed. And I remember I responded politely, but without enthusiasm. I remember he told me that he wished I could say congratulations. And I remember I told him I was sorry, but that I couldn’t.
It was a sad moment. Not being able to honestly congratulate the most important person in your life on such a huge thing.
It felt good tonite to say congratulations to him and his new fiance.
My brother and I talked awhile today about rings and discussed the importance-or lackthereof- that price should play in an engagement ring. Unlike the last one, this girl is sensible and he and I both know that. He told me he was going to look at rings on his lunch break. He called me later this afternoon and told me he bought one and was proposing tonite. He did all the right things, including asking her dad for permission. My parents raised us right.
So I am getting a new sister. And I couldn’t be happier. Since she came into my brother’s life, I have seen such beauty come out of him. He has developed into a compassionate, giving man. She has definately brougth the best out in him. And she may honestly be the most compassionate,giving, optimistic girl I know. I have a lot of respect for her and her and I both look forward to us together raising some additions to the family. Her and I are on similar pages with what we want out of life and the importance of family. And I look forward to the day that I become an aunt. And it is a big thing for me to say that I want my brother to become a father some day. Its a really big thing. And Im glad that I can say it and mean it.
But for now, I will focus on being a godmother, as I will become one in just 6 short months! Indeed, we are all growing up. And although I have always struggled with change and impermanence, I am trying to embrace it as well. Afterall, “Life’s about changing, nothing ever stays the same.”
This last week has been a reminder that I am growing up. An engagement, a pregnancy, and a wedding invitation. Don’t worry, none of these affect me directly. But indirectly, yes, and I feel the growing pains. Or confusions.
My cousin is pregnant. She’s also basically my life-long best friend and the closest thing I’ve ever had to a sister. We were born 16 days apart and have grown up together. We went to the same high school and worked the same job for awhile.
She called me at work Thursday morning to tell me the news. I was shocked. She was shocked herself when she heard the news. Apparenly anti-biotics counteract the effectiveness of the pill. Her boyfriend of 4?years is quite enthused so thats good. I get to be a godmother, which has been a dream of mine for awhile. I think she will be a terrific mother, and I think he will be a great father. I know he will love that child more than life itself.
I am definately weirded out. But I will do my best to be supportive. I know it will be tough. They are unmarried and she’s still a nursing student. My grandpa took the news really bad, which led to some negative drama and lots of tears. Its not like this is the first child in the family concieved out of wedlock. And I am the only grandchild that has not lived with a significant other before marriage. Clearly, my grandpa knows theres some stuff going on in some bedrooms. I am not sure why he reacted so harshly. Perhaps because my cousin in the youngest grandchild, and one of two to have never been in jail. Higher standards?
My brother called me today when I was getting ready for work. He wanted my input on his thoughts of marriage. He’s been with this wonderful girl for 8 months. He’s only been divorced from an evil one for 2 months. He wanted to know if I thought it was too early for him to start thinking about rings. I told him no. I love this girl and I want her around to stay. I told him that. And I told him sometimes you just know when you want to be with someone forever, that you can know in a few weeks, that time isn’t always a key factor. And I told him that he has my support, which he didnt have a few years ago when he told me of his plans to propose to his now-ex-wife. Heck, I tried so hard to talk him out of that one. I even called him back right after we hung up, trying again to talk him out of it. I told him he was trhrowing his life away. I cried a lot that night, as my roommates tried their best to calm me down.
I remember he IM’ed me the next morning and told me he proposed. And I remember I responded politely, but without enthusiasm. I remember he told me that he wished I could say congratulations. And I remember I told him I was sorry, but that I couldn’t.
It was a sad moment. Not being able to honestly congratulate the most important person in your life on such a huge thing.
It felt good tonite to say congratulations to him and his new fiance.
My brother and I talked awhile today about rings and discussed the importance-or lackthereof- that price should play in an engagement ring. Unlike the last one, this girl is sensible and he and I both know that. He told me he was going to look at rings on his lunch break. He called me later this afternoon and told me he bought one and was proposing tonite. He did all the right things, including asking her dad for permission. My parents raised us right.
So I am getting a new sister. And I couldn’t be happier. Since she came into my brother’s life, I have seen such beauty come out of him. He has developed into a compassionate, giving man. She has definately brougth the best out in him. And she may honestly be the most compassionate,giving, optimistic girl I know. I have a lot of respect for her and her and I both look forward to us together raising some additions to the family. Her and I are on similar pages with what we want out of life and the importance of family. And I look forward to the day that I become an aunt. And it is a big thing for me to say that I want my brother to become a father some day. Its a really big thing. And Im glad that I can say it and mean it.
But for now, I will focus on being a godmother, as I will become one in just 6 short months! Indeed, we are all growing up. And although I have always struggled with change and impermanence, I am trying to embrace it as well. Afterall, “Life’s about changing, nothing ever stays the same.”
posted by j at 12:17 AM
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